Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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