Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
