The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
