Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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