That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
