So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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