Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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