My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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