Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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