I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
