Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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