i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
did you just send me my own nude
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
