Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
