Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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