Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
