lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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