he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
