If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
