Don't make out with my wife yet
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
