turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
