"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
