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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work

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• (713): View more from Texas

  The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.

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• (347): View more from New York

  ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Oh that's normal

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners

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