Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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