How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
