every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
