Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
