Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
