YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
True strength comes from lack of pants
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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