Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
