She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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