u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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