Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you never un-have a 4some
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
