the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
