they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
