were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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