I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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