Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
