This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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