it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
