i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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