Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just pee around me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
