her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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