So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Let's get the cat blown out
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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