the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
