Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
