BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So. Much. Porn.
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