I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
