ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
