I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
