Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
