hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So vagazzling was a success
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
