I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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