i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
