After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
