So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
