It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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