no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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