Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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